这个世界会好吗

“Nobody tells this to people who are beginners, I wish someone told me. All of us who do creative work, we get into it because we have good taste. But there is this gap. For the first couple years you make stuff, it’s just not that good. It’s trying to be good, it has potential, but it’s not. But your taste, the thing that got you into the game, is still killer. And your taste is why your work disappoints you. A lot of people never get past this phase, they quit. Most people I know who do interesting, creative work went through years of this. We know our work doesn’t have this special thing that we want it to have. We all go through this. And if you are just starting out or you are still in this phase, you gotta know its normal and the most important thing you can do is do a lot of work. Put yourself on a deadline so that every week you will finish one story. It is only by going through a volume of work that you will close that gap, and your work will be as good as your ambitions. And I took longer to figure out how to do this than anyone I’ve ever met. It’s gonna take awhile. It’s normal to take awhile. You’ve just gotta fight your way through.”—Ira Glass

“如果你没有好奇 心或焦虑感当中的一个,也许就不是特别适合念博士。 我在出来前,有一个美国朋友,很好的一个朋友,原来也是 MIT 的毕业生,他跟我说, 如果你不想说些什么话,你不想去跟别人争论,你不想去改变一个现状——这个现状可以是 学术的现状也可以是现实当中的现状,也许就不是特别适合念博士。”

今天看paper的时候无意间看到了一个CCER未曾谋面的师兄的主页。看了他的文章,学术的与非学术的,有谈为何读博士,有谈怎样做研究,也有谈及早年的支教体验、人生挣扎。看到11年在西海固的文章,忽然就很感动。原以为自己已经很麻木、对这个世界很疏离,可每次面对真实的吾国吾民的时候还是会心跳加速、热泪盈眶。如果对他人的受难和世界的不完美不能做到充耳不闻,又怎能波澜不惊地去当一个精致的利己主义者?

无数次问自己,为什么会走到这里?为什么会做一份充满焦虑和挫败的工作?为什么明明觉得焦虑和挫败还是不肯放弃?原因很复杂,也许最主要的就是自己那份“不相信”。不相信我只能停留在这个水平,不相信这份工作没有价值,不相信真理和意义会在毫无作为的时刻轻易显现,不相信坐以待毙。

很多年前梁漱溟的父亲走之前问他,“这个世界会好吗?” 他说,“我相信世界是一天一天往好里去的。” 我也相信。

 

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